"He admires 'tiger parents.' He talks a lot about how the ideal parent is a strict disciplinarian, academically oriented, and pushes kids hard to set them up for future success. He thinks his teachers and his mom let him coast on his ADHD diagnosis, and vows that his kids will not 'get exceptions.' He thinks he would be more successful now if he'd had consistent parental pressure."
"I, on the other hand, was one of multiple siblings in an OK school district, with two parents who both worked. I spent time roaming in the woods with my siblings as a kid. My parents paid attention to us but were busy. They encouraged me in sports, music, my job, and school; they were proud of me as a B student."
A woman seeking parenting advice describes significant differences between her and her boyfriend's views on child-rearing. Her boyfriend, raised by a strict single mother in a high-performing school district, experienced periods of unsupervised time and later struggled with substance abuse and academic discipline. He now advocates for strict, academically-focused parenting and believes his ADHD diagnosis allowed him to coast. The woman grew up with two working parents and multiple siblings in a less competitive school district, experiencing a more relaxed, community-oriented upbringing with parental support but fewer restrictions. She questions whether their opposing philosophies make marriage and parenthood viable together.
#parenting-philosophy #relationship-compatibility #childhood-influences #discipline-vs-permissiveness #marriage-counseling
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