"For now, your child is old enough to know that sometimes, children are born to people who are in a committed relationship and sometimes, they are created by people who were not seriously involved. Tell your child that their father was someone you didn't know very well and that he decided that he did not want to be a dad."
"Explain that many fathers make this choice, and acknowledge that it may be painful to know that their father was one of them. Explain that you were very excited to have them and that you are grateful that they are your child. If they push to know more about their father, tell them that you don't know much about him and that you have respected his decision not to be involved."
A one-night encounter led to a pregnancy and the parent chose to keep the baby after fertility concerns. The biological father did not participate and was later found incarcerated for a sexual assault on a minor, which relieved the parent. The recommended approach is to tell the child plainly that their father was someone the parent did not know well who chose not to be a dad. Acknowledge that some fathers make that choice and that learning this can be painful. Emphasize the parent's excitement and gratitude for the child. If pressed, explain limited knowledge and that the decision not to be involved was respected. Suggest books showing different household structures and single mothers.
Read at Slate Magazine
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