"When Patrick, 17, came home from school one day, he just knewhis mom had relapsed. There was nothing specific he remembered about that day that told him she had relapsed again. Nothing seemed out of place. But the house felt different. Some unspoken words hung in the air. Placing his school bag quietly onto the couch, he tiptoed to her bedroom. It was quiet and dark. A dim light shone from under the door of the master bathroom. He knew his instincts were right."
"But Patrick felt only blame. He saw the spoons missing from the kitchen, knew they didn't just get lost in the dishwasher, although he tried to believe it. He was afraid to tell his dad; afraid it would ruin Christmas. He felt the responsibility of the family's happiness on his shoulders. Alone, scared, and with nobody to turn to, he busied himself preparing dinner for his little sister."
"After trying and failing to get clean twice already, his mom had been sober for two years, and things had been amazing during that time. They took golf lessons and traveled together. He showed her how to use chopsticks at the local sushi restaurant, recording videos of their laughter at her attempts for his social media. But he always feared she would relapse again, as she had so many times when he was young."
Living with a parent or caregiver who misuses substances creates a chaotic, unpredictable home environment that can be traumatic for children and family members. Children may shoulder adult responsibilities, hide problems, and limit their own needs to protect family stability. Those experiences increase risk for anxiety and other mental health disorders, and can make it difficult to enjoy positive times because of lingering fear of relapse. Caregiving lapses and secrecy erode safety and trust. Increasing support for survivors and their families through therapy, resources, and community services can reduce adverse effects and improve long-term outcomes.
Read at Psychology Today
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