"My mother is 88 and recently entered a nursing home. She has not been diagnosed with any specific mental deterioration, though she has become very forgetful. The problem is that she is a voracious gossip. She has always had a proclivity toward spreading gossip, but she seems to be getting worse, and I am finding it almost impossible to listen to her."
"I try to steer our conversations toward positive things, but she seems to have about a two-sentence tolerance before she launches into something scathing. It doesn't seem to matter who the person is my brothers, my sisters-in-law, her grandchildren, my aunts and uncles, friends, neighbors. Everyone is fair game for her vicious tongue. More and more frequently I do not take her incoming calls, and when I do, I end the call when I can no longer bear her negativity about our family."
An 88-year-old nursing-home resident has become increasingly forgetful and an escalating, vicious gossip targeting family and acquaintances. Frequent negative calls are straining family ties and leading to ostracism of relatives who confront her. The correspondent avoids calls or ends them to protect personal boundaries. Consultation with care team or doctors may determine whether memory issues contribute to the behavior and suggest interventions. Core personality tendencies may persist despite medical input. Family members should set and communicate firm boundaries, state discomfort with negative talk, and limit exposure when necessary to preserve relationships and personal well-being.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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