I Went to Fox News HQ to Watch the New "King of Late Night" at Work. It Was Grim in Ways I Didn't Know Possible.

"To pass the time, David and Trevor compared hearing aids. One in slacks, one in jeans; one in purple polo shirt, one in purple button-down. Their wives nattered among each other, laughing, leaning in, touching the forearm of the other supportively. The men had already covered some important details: One had worked in insurance; one was in cattle ranching. Now they were talking earpiece specs and swapping tips on where to get the very best deals."

"These were wise men, and they had followed a star, a rising star over the News Corp. building. It had led them into a basement of Fox News headquarters on Sixth Avenue, in Midtown Manhattan. It had just rained outside, and inside, it was extremely humid. Together we all stood beneath fluorescent lighting and waited. On the wall it said Gutfeld! On the opposite wall it said Gutfeld! On a sandwich board it said Gutfeld!"

"The audience passes said to arrive at 4:45 p.m. but also warned: "More tickets are issued than the studio can hold to ensure each show has a full audience." The men were not going to take any chances. They had turned up before 4 and installed themselves in a queue. Perhaps a dozen people had arrived even sooner. They had come to pay homage to a newborn monarch: Greg Gutfeld, the " King of Late Night." The pilgrims sweat. They tugged at shirt collars and tried to cool off. There was no respite, no ventilation, no air conditioning, no chairs. Eventually, a Fox News handler came down the line, handing out to each person a piece of card stock that for a moment seemed as if it might work as a fan."

Two middle-aged men compared hearing aids while their wives chatted supportively as all waited beneath fluorescent lights in a humid basement of Fox News headquarters. The men swapped background details—insurance, cattle ranching—and traded tips about where to buy devices. Audience passes instructed arrival by 4:45 p.m., but the men arrived earlier and queued to secure seats. They had traveled from the heartland and Georgia to see Greg Gutfeld, whose name appeared repeatedly on walls and sandwich boards. The crowd sweated without ventilation or chairs until a Fox handler distributed discount cards that briefly served as makeshift fans.

Read at Slate Magazine