"I'm transmasc but not out at work, and each time Alex is misgendered I also feel invalidated and even a bit unsafe. This hasn't impacted my work necessarily, but it has impacted how I view and feel comfortable with my co-workers. I know I'm expecting a lot from people with Harry Potter and Bible quotes in their offices, but I feel like they should at least be trying."
"I'm sorry you've been put in such an uncomfortable position that's left you feeling unsafe and isolated. Your colleagues misgendering Alex isn't just abstract for you, and being closeted adds another layer of complexity to an already fraught situation. So I really understand how delicate and high-stakes this all feels. I think your best bet-given the conservative and potentially defensive nature of your workplace-is to make the corrections in a casual, almost incidental way."
A worker reports frequent misgendering of a colleague who publicly uses they/them pronouns, despite that pronoun use appearing in the colleague's email signature and company bio. Coworkers in the same department consistently use she/her, which the worker perceives as deliberate or willful ignorance. The misgendering causes the worker, who is transmasculine and not out at work, to feel invalidated, unsafe, and less comfortable with colleagues. Correct misgendering casually and incidentally in conversation, offering brief, matter-of-fact corrections rather than public confrontations, given a conservative or defensive workplace culture. Small, consistent corrections can normalize proper pronoun use without escalating tensions.
Read at Slate Magazine
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