"The night before a wedding, the table in question is often at the rehearsal dinner. Miss Manners is dearly hoping that you did not think that his baldness was an amusing topic for a toast. If so, it would not excuse your brother from delivering a public rebuke, but neither should it be thought to exonerate yourself."
"Making people feel comfortable is not always the goal, but we can start there. Dr. Smith may have graduated first in his class, but the use of the honorific by someone who knew him as a child serves a purpose beyond mere formality—it acknowledges professional achievement and appropriate boundaries."
Two etiquette dilemmas illustrate the complexities of social conventions. In the first, a woman mentions her brother's baldness at a rehearsal dinner, unaware of his sensitivity. Rather than expressing his discomfort directly, the brother publicly rebukes her, making her feel shamed and unwelcome. Miss Manners clarifies that while mentioning baldness was indiscreet, a public rebuke was an excessive response. In the second scenario, a man encounters his former youth football player, now his ophthalmologist, who insists on informal address despite the professional setting. The man feels uncomfortable using the doctor's first name in a medical context, creating awkwardness. Miss Manners addresses how etiquette should facilitate comfort while maintaining appropriate professional boundaries and respect.
#etiquette-and-social-conventions #professional-boundaries #conflict-resolution #respectful-communication
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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