Why You Shouldn't Ask People How They Lost Weight

"When someone loses weight, it often becomes a public event. People notice, comment, and-almost reflexively-ask how. The question implies that whatever method they used is worth knowing, replicating, or admiring. It positions weight loss as an achievement, a moral victory, a signal of discipline or virtue. But what if it isn't? What if their weight loss came from illness, grief, stress, or depression? What if it involved a medication that finally brought balance to their body chemistry-or, conversely, an eating disorder or unhealthy behaviors?"

"Our curiosity about how someone lost weight is rarely neutral. Often, it's rooted in our own insecurity or desire for control. We want to know what works-because culturally, we've been taught that managing our bodies is a lifelong project. When we see someone "succeed," we want the secret. But bodies aren't self-improvement projects. They're complex ecosystems-shaped by genetics, hormones, health conditions, socioeconomic factors, medications, and emotions. When we reduce someone's body to a before-and-after story, we dehumanize them into an object lesson."

Compliments like "You look amazing! How did you do it?" can carry assumptions, judgment, and cultural conditioning. Asking how someone lost weight frames weight loss as an achievement or moral victory tied to discipline. Weight changes can result from illness, grief, stress, depression, medications, eating disorders, or other complex biological and social factors. Curiosity about others' weight loss often stems from personal insecurity or a desire for control. Bodies are complex ecosystems shaped by genetics, hormones, health conditions, socioeconomic factors, medications, and emotions. Reducing people to before-and-after stories dehumanizes them and undermines their privacy.

Read at Psychology Today