
"It's like I walked through a low doorway and cracked my skull on the frame, I say. Ow, my wife says. Except I haven't done that, I say. Or it feels more like an invisible hand is holding me up by the hair. Look it up, my wife says. Don't tell him to look it up! says the middle one. Why not? my wife says. Because he'll look it up! he says."
"These are two of my previous embarrassing ailments. Hot hand was slightly misnamed, because the hand itself my right one did not get hot; it just made things seem hot to the touch, when they clearly weren't. Fortunately it went away before I was obliged to describe its symptoms to a professional. Phantom phone in which a creaking hip joint creates the false impression that the phone in my pocket is receiving a text is just something I've learned to live with. I can't help you if you won't help yourself, my wife says."
A person wakes with a diffuse, migrating head pain described alternately as cracked skull and as being lifted by the hair. Family members react with casual suggestions, urging web searches and a doctor visit, prompting embarrassment about past odd symptoms like 'hot hand' and 'phantom phone.' The person speculates muscle spasms caused by tension, trapped nerve, stress, or poor posture. An AI offers alarmist or trivial diagnoses, increasing unease. The scalp pain lessens over the afternoon while mood worsens, producing restlessness and a search for things to complain about.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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