But now he wants me to go a step further than he ever has and he wants me to babysit all of Sharon's kids since I'm a SAHM technically, but I do run my own online business to earn money and am able to do that around everything else in my life.
It's also extremely problematic that your husband committed you to this insanity even though you refused. That means he really doesn't respect you at all. This isn't grounds for counseling. This is grounds for divorce.
NTA. If your husband is so concerned about it, have HIM take care of the kids. You're not an AH, you work- just because you work from home doesn't mean you can mind a houseful of kids. And even if you didn't, you're not a daycare. You're not responsible for your partner's ex's poor choices or situation.
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