If there is a victim in this scenario it is the daughter your husband denied for so long. Although the situation isn't something you are thrilled with, the young woman is a part of the family. This isn't the 1950s. The circumstances of her birth are not a reason for her to be ostracized. Point out to your children that their half-sister is a relative, and they should give her a chance.
My mom always catered to my dad when I was growing up. I was left to pretty much raise myself. Their drinking and social life were their priorities. I ended up pregnant at 16 and married to an abusive 21-year-old man, and I was divorced at 17. After that, I was on my own. Mom never helped other than writing an occasional check so my situation wouldn't become her problem.
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