Recognizing Abusive Patterns: A Guide to Change

Physical abuse includes hitting, slapping, kicking, punching, pushing, choking or strangling, and using a weapon to threaten, even when done to punish or teach. Emotional abuse can be harder to identify, especially in parenting or intimate relationships. Emotional abuse can involve domination, including ordering someone around, monitoring time and activities, restricting finances or communication, limiting social contact, isolating a person from family or friends, interfering with jobs, education, or medical care, and using jealousy, possessiveness, threats, or harm to pets and property. Emotional abuse can also include verbal assaults such as berating, belittling, criticizing, humiliating, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, shaming, cutting sarcasm, and expressing disgust toward the person.

"The first step toward changing your abusive behavior is to recognize it in yourself. Hitting, slapping, kicking, punching, pushing, choking or strangling, or use of a weapon to threaten are all forms of physical abuse, even if you are doing so in order to punish or teach a lesson to your children. The emotional abuse of a child or romantic partner can be more difficult to identify."

"The person who tries to dominate another person has a tremendous need to have their own way and they often resort to threats in order to get it. Domineering behavior includes ordering someone around, monitoring time and activities, restricting resources (finances, telephone), restricting social activities, isolating a person from their family or friends, interfering with opportunities (job, education, medical care), excessive jealousy and possessiveness, throwing objects, threatening to harm someone, threatening to harm someone's pets or property."

"Verbal assault include berating, belittling, criticizing, humiliating, name calling, screaming, threatening, excessive blaming, shaming, using sarcasm in a cutting way or expressing disgust toward the person. This kind of abuse is"

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