My partner was cheating. I wouldn't have told anybody else': people who found the right friend at the right time

Two women began working as teaching assistants at the same school in 2011 and quickly developed an automatic trust. Both had survived difficult relationships and had been rehoused or faced personal challenges, which shaped their understanding of what the other was dealing with. When one woman discovered her partner was cheating, she told the other, who responded with reassurance and support. During a late-night crisis involving an ex, one woman called the other for help, and the other came immediately. Their friendship involved similar coping styles, compartmentalising, and shared work ethic. They supported each other practically with their children and provided emotional safety without judgment.

"There was an automatic trust between us, Mikayla says of meeting Lucy. It was instinctive. The women started teaching assistant jobs at the same school in 2011. Both had previously survived difficult relationships and Lucy had been rehoused with her four children. We got on well without knowing much about each other, says Mikayla, 52, who has five sons. We were the older ones, and quickly found we had the same understanding of what was going on and the same work ethic."

"When Mikayla discovered her partner at the time was cheating, I remember going into school and telling Lucy. I wouldn't have shared it with anybody else there. She told me, It's going to be all right, we're going to sort this out.' She's always optimistic; I'm a pessimist. Lucy remembers picking up the phone to Mikayla late at night for help, too, during an encounter with an ex. I knew if I called her I'd be safe. I didn't ask her to come, but she did."

"I knew for her to pick up the phone was serious, so I got in the car. I saw resilience in Mikayla, says Lucy, 53, now a child protection chair and grandmother. We both wanted better lives. Neither of us took the easy way out. Maybe, unconsciously, we saw something of ourselves in each other, Mikayla reflects. Neither had another friend who'd been through what they had. Their pasts were not a big feature of their day-to-day friendship but details would emerge, Mikayla says."

"Both single mothers, they began helping practically with one another's kids, going out during school holidays and supporting each other emotionally. If we had difficulties with the kids, neither was judgmental, Mikayla says. For me that was big; I'd spent most of my l"

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