Growing up with a neural tube defect, I absorbed the worst things the world had to say about me and my worth before I was ever taught to dismantle them with my own agency. My road to disability justice and self acceptance has been a series of unlearning, more than anything else.
But somewhere in the stress of more change, I lost that determination. I grew egregiously aware of myself in each and every space I entered, suddenly absorbing every stare, every comment. My mind flooded with feelings of inadequacy, embarrassment, and debilitating self doubt. I couldn't bring myself to care about sports or exercise or any of the things I'd loved so much. All I felt was disappointment.
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