"We always suspected this day would come. On Wednesday, November 12, 2025, the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia minted its final penny. It's a tragic day, yes, but I'm not too concerned about stores rounding up my change and losing out on a few cents here and there. What really troubles me is this: What will replace the lucky penny? The penny was worthless, but in a way that made it priceless."
"It had a rare talent to exist completely unnoticed. A penny could sit on a curb for years without a single soul registering its presence. We grew accustomed to treating it like litter, part of the general mix of garbage that makes up the city sidewalk. Yet, the penny still held value. And in that way, the beautiful soul who stooped to pick one up off the dirty ground would be rewarded with good luck. And how could we ever replace that?"
"Piss bottles Piss bottles have the same rarity as a heads-up penny, and just as many germs. A lucky piss bottle for m'lady? VR Pennies I'm sure someone at Palantir is already working on this. Your Dog's Shit Maybe we can make picking up after your dog the new good luck charm. If nothing else, it might finally get people to actually do it."
The U.S. Mint in Philadelphia minted its final penny on November 12, 2025. Sentiment ranges from trivial concern over rounding change to worry about losing a small-luck charm. The penny's value lay in its ubiquity and unnoticed presence, rewarding those who stooped to pick one up. Proposed replacements included piss bottles, VR pennies, dog feces, flying plastic bags, cigarette butts, and rocks. The farewell mixes wistfulness with sarcasm, imagining a Surprise Limited Edition Tricentennial Penny sold for $45.99 while wondering about the future of nickels. The tone blends humor, nostalgia, and mild outrage.
Read at Jezebel
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]