"The first is that they all should have spawned gratuitously sleazed out direct-to-video sequels that recast Amy Adams in the lead role and aired on Cinemax every other night for the entirety of my high school years (shout out to Roger Kumble, the James Mangold of Adrian Lynes). The second - and perhaps more broadly relevant - aspect that binds those movies together is that Hollywood is currently in the process of remaking each and every one of them."
"each of these remakes is misbegotten for the same reason: They're all based on objective masterpieces. "But David," you might say, "isn't one's response to art an inherently subjective experience?" To which I would simply reply: "You are in no way entitled to your own wrong opinion about a movie where Josh Hartnett, Clea DuVall, and Elijah Wood save their high school from salt-phobic aliens while swagged out in late '90s Tommy Hilfiger.""
Numerous celebrated films, including Cruel Intentions, A Colt Is My Passport, Night of the Hunter, Possession, The Faculty, and Vertigo, are slated for Hollywood remakes. Some of these projects are already completed while others remain in early development or mere threats. The remakes are framed as misguided because the originals are treated as objective masterpieces that should not be reworked. The tone blends humor and snark, invoking pop-culture asides to emphasize skepticism about recasting or altering influential films. A rhetorical exchange underscores that subjective opinion does not justify diminishing culturally significant movies.
Read at IndieWire
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